Monday, December 31, 2007

History of Marriage

Last night I read a fascinating book about the history of marriage--an institution that has changed dramatically over the centuries. In fact, marriage as we think of it and know it today was quite different in ages past. Marriage, through the long course of time, was much more tied to survival, social status, and security than love. The idea of marrying for love is of a more recent vintage.

Likewise, it is only in more recent years that marriage has been connected religiously, or considered to have religious connections. Again, through the longest part of history, marriage was a social contract, with little or no connections with religious ideologies.

Today, we expect marriage to fulfill so many of our personal needs--not just including financial security, family, social status, emotional fulfillment or sexual desires--but a slew of other marginal ideas and needs as well. It is easy to see how people can become quickly disinfranchised with their marriage, or how the slightest chink in the armor can cause consternation and threaten the relationship.

I wonder: is there a sense in which we need to recover a concept of marriage that is not so heavily laden with these overwhelming expectations?

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Wedding Fees

Recently I began collecting feedback for fees associated with a church wedding. I was surprised to see that some fees were more than $1000, with honorariums in the range of $300-$450. What do you think is a reasonable fee for a church wedding these days--with counseling, use of facility, pastor's time, etc.?

Anyone have an opinion or a story to tell?