Cruise Ship Wedding

Brides and Grooms may not often consider the savings that can be had at sea, but couples desiring to combine the wedding/reception/and honeymoon might discover that a cruise can accomplish everything for the price of one. The last time I checked, a sea captain could marry couples, and for the price of a few tickets, the world is your oyster.

Don't go overboard (sorry) on the costs and you'll save enough money that you won't have to walk the gangplank of debt when you get back to shore.

Consider and ocean wedding if you want to save.

New Year's Eve

Now I've heard about everything...a wedding and reception on New Year's eve. But, wow, it saves cash.

Think about it...the party is already built-in. Adjust the wedding plans to include a New Year's eve gathering and you have a true money-saving event. People will even stay up late and celebrate with the bride and groom.

I guess the message here is simple. Don't overlook the holidays as a source of wedding/reception money-saving.

Saving on Good Counsel

I often tell couples that they can save the largest amount of money for their marriage if they get good premarital counseling. Most couples wonder how this could possibly be true.

But considering the the divorce rate is still hovering around 50%, and considering that divorce is a very costly decision economically, getting good counsel before marriage is always a money-saving venture. Good counsel can help couples plan their future together, set a budget, save for the future, and steer clear of financially-disastrous habits (such as spending more than they make in income or living on credit).

Financial instability and financial stress is still the number one reason for divorce. If couples find themselves falling behind on a mortgage, a car payment, or they are overwhelmed with debt, the marriage of most is going to suffer big time. Financial stresses are almost always the beginning point of marital discord and breakup.

So . . . spend a little more for great counsel before you get marriage, and reap the rewards of saving more and spending less later. Your marriage will thank you.

Oriental Trading

One of the most inexpensive and readily-available sources of wedding supplies is Oriental Trading (www.orientaltrading.com). Great site for all things decorational, seasonal, as well as items such as balloons, bubbles, table decor, streamers, or unique items for the reception.

If you haven't discovered this site in your planning, take a look. It may save you hundreds of dollars as you plan your reception.

Saving Tip #1

If you are looking to save money for your honeymoon, try using some of these tips.

Tip #1
RETURN TO THE COOKIE JAR
Here's a simple, yet effective way of putting aside some significant "pocket change", especially if your honeymoon plans are a year or more away. Every time you get change from a purchase, place the change in a cookie jar or other large container. Continue to collect this money over the course of a year. And when you are ready to use it . . . sort it, wrap it, and cash it in for bills.

I've used this simple method for years to help pay for our family vacations. It is amazing how much money (just in change) can pile up over the course of a year.

My personal best: I saved some $350 one year for our family vacation. Not exactly chump change! That little nest egg paid for our gasoline round trip, and a couple of nights lodging.

Don't sneeze at the cookie jar and don't raid it! Just keep saving.

Healthy Honeymoons

I'm not really a health nut, but the other day I noted an article in a bridal magazine regarding some of the healthiest honeymoon destinations. Then the idea struck me! Couldn't a healthy honeymoon also be a low cost honeymoon?

For example, for couples who enjoy hiking . . . how about a honeymoon trip to the great Northwest and seeing some of the volcanoes, redwoods, etc. Miles and miles of trails over some tough terrain. Romantic, plenty of alone time, and the sights would be spectacular. Lose weight and get into shape on the honeymoon, what a novel idea!

Or how about a trip to the Great Lakes? Do some kayaking?
How about a trip to the Rockies, do some skiing?
How about a trip to the Grand Canyon and Phantom Ranch? Talk about losing weight!

Don't overlook a health conscious honeymoon as a great way to save money.

Holiday Weddings

Brides who are looking to save money on floral arrangements don't have to look much further than the holidays. Most churches by the first of December, are going to have plenty of Poinsettias as part of the decor, and there are also banners, candles, and other color that can make a Christmas wedding very special and festive.

Don't try to reinvent wedding flowers...just use what's on hand. Use the candles, too. You'll save plenty of money and headache.

Singing It

A few years back I presided over a wedding in which the bride and groom (both accomplished singers) provided all of the music for their own wedding. Naturally, they saved money.

There's a "do it yourself" trend in most everything these days: home repair, car repair, home decorating, etc.

Don't overlook all of the possibilities for saving money in this "do it yourself" philosophy. What can you do? Can you paint, draw, sing, decorate?

Might be worth some significant savings as you plan your wedding and reception.

Showers of Blessing

Bridal showers have been around for as long as weddings (I think). But have you considered using your bridal shower for more than just a party to receive gifts?

Now, with the financial stresses facing many brides, a shower can also be an opportunity to ask your friends and family for help with the wedding, reception, etc. It can also be an opportunity to ask for specific gifts that you might be able to use in the ceremony or reception. Many friends would be more than gracious in giving gifts that can actually save brides money.

Your shower can also be a time when you can express your appreciation and love. Make sure you give something so you can receive with graciousness and gratitude.

e-Bay payoff

Increasingly, I'm hearing stories about brides who are financing their wedding plans by selling items on e-Bay. Not a bad little plot and a quick way to make some money.

Better yet, while you're out there on the internet, why not do a little shopping on e-Bay? Might find some great bargains on reception decor, cake stands, toasting flutes, and much more.

Don't be afraid to search for used items that look like new. It's a great way to save.

Longer Engagements

Some years ago, when I was writing Before You Say "I Do", I realized that longer engagements actually save couples money. Several reasons for this.

First, couples who have longer engagements tend to save more for the wedding and honeymoon. They don't go into debt so hastily.

Second, couples who have longer engagements tend to have a deeper appreciation for what it takes to strategize and build a life together. They discuss finances more deeply, and they arrive at a plan, and set goals for their future.

Finally, longer engagements allow couples to get to know each other more fully . . . and this leads to a much better start in marriage. Some couples might even discover that they are not right for each other, not as compatible as they should be, and by not getting married . . . they save more money (and heartache) than they can imagine!

Don't be hasty. Take your time. And do the hard work of talking about finances before you get married!

Rail Car Wedding

Last week my wife attended a reception held in a railroad car (that had been renovated as a reception area/restaurant). Not large, but sizeable enough for a small, intimate wedding party.

Another idea to save big money: why not have your wedding and reception together in a place like this? Invite your family and friends to this dinner, bring in an officiant, take your vows, and everyone stays for the reception. No fuss, no muss.

Unique. Romantic. Candlelight? Good food.

Alternative Days to Save

Last week I met a bride who informed me that she was having her wedding on a Wednesday night. A small affair, certainly, but she was definitely having the kind of wedding that not only saved money, but time, energy, and travel.

Here's how she was working it:

She had reserved a large back room in a downtown Indianapolis restaurant (a nice one!), invited all of her family and friends for the meal, and then she and her fiance were tying the knot before the wedding began. Everything was happening in that one room...ceremony (short and sweet), followed by a dinner reception (no travel to an alternative site). Wow...that's ingenuity. And that's saving money for the honeymoon!!!

Better yet, on a Wednesday night, she got a great deal with the restaurant. Why wouldn't she? Brides who want to get off the Saturday wedding wagon will find some great deals out there!

Free Weddings!

Many couples may never have considered the possibility of getting their entire wedding for free. But it can be accomplished . . . especially if the couple is willing to apply via radio or television for various contests.

One of the best places to begin is by visiting:
www.weddingcontests.com

This little web site offers some of the best options for couples looking to get it all for free.

If you are the type of people who enjoy being interviewed, or who don't mind the media, you might look into applying....

Photography Buffs

Increasingly, I'm talking to couples who have a family member or friend take their wedding and reception photos. Today, with the advent of digital cameras and some incredible software packages that can crop, clip, and color, making great photos is a snap. Now, there are certainly many pros who can do even more with bigger and better cameras and photo shops, but if a couple is looking to have a wedding on an affordable budget, don't overlook photography as one place to save.

And don't forget to check in some of your local photo shops. You might be able to actually purchase your own camera, learn how to use it (then teach it) and let someone be your officially photographer--all for much less than the cost of a wedding photo package with a pro.

Wedding Coordinators

I'm not one to downplay the role of a wedding coordinator in helping brides plan a wedding (some can actually save a bride money and earn their pay). But I do think that brides need to be discriminating when it comes to shelling out cash for a wedding coordinator or planner.

For example, a bride might begin by asking some of these questions:
* Is my wedding small enough that I can plan most of the details myself (or with some help from family and friends)?
* How much will a wedding coordinator charge to do some of the larger elements of the wedding?
* Can I do the wedding with the help of the pastor or church musicians?
* Would a wedding planner help me with the reception only?
* How much would a planner save me? Cost me?

Sitting down with pad and paper early can be one of the best ways for brides to budget for this additional help.

Book Lover's Reception

I'd forgotten about the "librarian" reception I attended many years ago. Simple concept. For decorations, the bride had placed a small pile of hard back books on each table along with a sprinkling of multi-colored stars. The books served double-duty. Great decor, but also a fantastic conversation-starter.

Consider your job. What tools-of-the-trade could you use as your reception center-pieces? You would not only save a little money, but you'd be giving your guests a sneak-peak into your life, too.

Try something creative at your reception to stash a little money away for the honeymoon. Spend your money on each other, or your future, rather than decor that lasts a couple of hours and then is tossed into the trash.

Tough Times Weddings

During these tough economic times, couples are discovering that a wedding doesn't have to cost $30,000 . . . there are other options. An outdoor wedding, a beach wedding, a barn wedding, a tent wedding . . . all of these and others afford a couple much less in costs up front, and with a little ingenuity when it comes to food and entertainment, the price tag can be manageable.

And the honeymoon . . . ? What about doing something you both enjoy? Driving cross country to hike, kayak, visit museums, look at art, relax on the beach? Many couples are finding that the cost of gas is much less than the cost of airfare these days.

Reception Options

For couples who are looking for some lower cost options for reception fare, don't overlook pizza. I attended a very nice reception last month in a church fellowship hall. Nice tables, low-cost table settings, favors (wrapped peanuts and candy), and salads. The main fare was pizza from a local favorite pizzaria that everyone absolutely loved. Pizza doesn't cost much, it's delicious, it's filling, it's a favorite.

It may not be on the "first run" list of reception favorites as far as cousine goes, but everyone had a first rate time and it was one of those receptions I won't forget.

On the other hand, I've also attended my share of steak and lobster receptions that were dark, dismal, and utterly boring.

If you don't have it, food won't save the day. Try something fun and see if the guests don't enjoy themselves too!

Room With a View

Last weekend I attended a wedding reception held in the upstairs of an old warehouse. The views from the large windows were spectacular, and the couple had draped the walls and ceiling with long wisps of fabric to give the old building a smattering of color. It was definitely low cost, but tastefully done.

When planning your reception location, don't overlook lower cost options such as parks, gazebos, and company gathering places. You might be surprised at what you can find in a community center or school.

Look for the best options and plan accordingly. You don't have to spend big bucks to get a big payback and a nice room with a view for your reception.

Make It Yourself

As you prepare for your wedding, don't overlook the possibility of making your own accessories. Brides can do so much themselves and save a lot of money in the process.

But how?

Well, how about visiting ehow (yes, that's www.ehow.com). This little web site is devoted to helping people improve their lives by making their own. Here you can find dozens of great ideas, patterns, and instructions for making just about anything.

Give it a try and see what you can make!

Big Greek Wedding

If you've seen the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, you know that some traditions invite the father of the bride to make a gift to the couple. Of course, most couples don't expect the father to do this, but I've known a few couples who have had some tremendous offers from parents.

One couple I knew some years back had their choice of a large wedding, or a downpayment on a house. They chose the large wedding. They were divorced three months later and financial stresses were the primary cause.

I wonder how their marriage would have been different had they chosen the downpayment on a house instead of going for the big fat wedding . . .

If you have the prospect of a nice wedding gift like this . . . think before you opt for the one day and out. Some gifts can have a much longer impact on your life and marriage.

More Beach Wedding

This week a father told me that he and his daughter saved money by switching to Geiko. Well, actually, he told me about his daughter's beach wedding in Florida, the fifteen guests (total), and the great time they had sharing this special time together.

The beach wedding wasn't about saving money (though they saved thousands) but as he put it:
"What could be more beautiful?"

He and his wife had a beach condo, so the reception was held there. Great beauty, big savings, and hey, no cleanup either. Sometimes bigger isn't better, and when it comes to weddings, you can't beat the beach for living large.

Fall Flowers

I had a most insightful conversation with a bride a few years ago. She told me she was able to find all of her reception flowers and flower decor at a much-reduced price by buying flowers from Wal-Mart that were at the end of their season (petunias etc. in late August).

As she put it: "They always put seasonal flowers on sale when the fall flowers arrive."

Great advice. If you are planning a late August or early September wedding, don't overlook the possibility of getting your flowers on the cheap. You can save hundreds.

You Write the Songs

If you are looking to save some money on music (by eschewing a DJ or a fancy sound system) try using your favorite songs on your iPod. Or, download some great wedding/reception music for a few dollars and load these onto a PC to play over the speaker system.

If you have access to a system in your reception hall, take advantage of it and use your own music instead of bringing someone in from the outside. You'll save money and you get to choose the music.

Who can argue with that?

Community Centers

Here's one of the latest I've seen on big savings for your wedding/reception. Rent a community center gymnasium. Usually low cost, lots of space and available restrooms, plenty of parking.

There are also plenty of rooms for men and women to get dressed, space for refreshments, and room to roam.

For big weddings, especially, might be a great place to begin a search for a wedding site.

Matrimonial Mulah

If you are looking for a way to create and save extra money for your wedding plans, why not use your hobbies as a starting point. Most people have hobbies that could, potentially, net them a few extra dollars.

For example, perhaps you are good at scrapbooking. Why not create a class, or offer to organize other people's photos and memorabilia for a fee?

Of maybe you enjoy babysitting, cooking, or working in the garden. There are many people who could use your services, and would pay for it.

Consider your hobbies. They might be your money in the bank.

Wine

Many brides and grooms serve wine at the reception, but a recent study conducted on expensive vs. inexpensive wines showed that most people can't tell the difference. What does this mean for wedding parties? Simply this . . . serve the cheap stuff in nice glasses. Most of your guests simply won't know the difference, and this applies to champagne as well.

Don't worry about labels, appearance, nose or other assorted "snooty" wine reviews. Save the money and buy a case of what you find tasty and appealing.

Budget Busters

There are many ways that couples can bust their budget when they are making their wedding plans. Without a clearly understood budget detailing the total to be spent and what they will spend the money on, it's far too easy to get distracted or swept up in the wedding craze.

Many couples, for example, discover that their budget is already busted by the time the bride purchases a gown. The bride fully intended to spend a thousand dollars on a dress, but opted for the five thousand dollar version. Budget busted!

Or, perhaps, the groom fully intended to book the honeymoon adventure on the beach for two grand, but once he noticed the travel brochure to Greece, he opted for the two week cruise in the Meditteranean that cost ten grand. Budget busted!

Couples will always do well to have a clearly understood budget before they begin their shopping and hopping! Otherwise, it's just too easy to opt out of the plan and grab for the glitter.

Don't let your budget get busted. Set a budget. Stick to it.

Need Counseling?

Most couples will go through premarital counseling before they walk down the aisle. But not all couples can afford the type of in depth counseling that might be truly helpful. However, for those couples who want to be pro-active, how about reading some books together.

Here are two low-cost options for couseling I can recommend:
The first is my own book, Before You Say "I Do" (by Todd Outcalt). This is truly the best book of its kind on the market and you can easily find a copy at Amazon.com

I would also recommend The Five Love Languages!

You can't go wrong with these resources.

Two for the Price of One?

Recently I read about two sisters who were getting married just weeks apart. As they made their wedding plans, they often asked the question: "How can we help each other?" and "Can we save money by shopping together?"

Short answer: Yes. There are deals to be found out there when brides work together. How much can be saved, also, when families stop to consider items that can be used or reused? There are many bridal shops that offer discounts when more than one gown is purchased, and the same often holds true for tux rentals and dozens of other wedding items.

Don't overlook the concept of working with a friend or family member to save money on wedding items...especially if your weddings are close together.

Get it For Free

Have you ever considered the possibility of getting an entire wedding and/or honeymoon for free? You could . . . if you are the type of couple who enjoys interviewing, competing, or throwing your name into the hat.

There are hundreds of radio and television stations that have summer wedding competitions. Check out some of the opportunities in your area. You might be surprised at what you can find out there on the air.

Beanie Baby Reception

Brides looking for some unique cost-saving decor for their receptions (preferably in a low cost or no cost setting) can find some mileage with beanie babies. Remember these? Place them on the tables as center pieces and on the serving tables. If you don't already have a generous supply, you can find them in great quantities at Goodwill.

If you don't have beanie babies, why not try using other kinds of toys/boxed games/sports-related themes in your decor. Ask the groom. He' s probably got a favorite sport that could serve as the theme: football, baseball, soccer, etc.

Nothing like going simple to save money.

Clipping Coupons

Many people will clip coupons to save money on groceries or sundries, but why not on wedding expenses? There are some great coupons out there for wedding-related items if you watch. Don't feel that you can't save a few dollars here and there with some planning and clipping. Every dollar you save is a dollar you can use to set up house or to honeymoon a bit longer.

Watch for coupons especially on items like:
Paper goods for the reception
Decorations
Floral arrangements
Food items you can use at the reception
Drinks at the reception
Shoes
Rice (from the grocery)

Ice Cream Social Reception

Here's a fun, witty, and utterly low-cost option for a wedding reception I noted as I was driving by a public park: An summer ice cream social reception.

Instead of the big, overblown dinner reception with catered meats and veggies, this couple had rented a large shelter house and was scooping up home-made ice creams with cake to the guests. Wow. What fun. Everyone was having a great time (isn't that the idea?).

Instead of spending tons of cash on a catered dinner, this couple was serving up a refreshing dessert. Low cost, yes. Smart, you bet. Memorable, absolutely!

Gifts

Many couples distress over the amount of money they could spend on gifts for attendants, groomsmen, etc. But there are many lower cost options.

Some brides and grooms make their own gifts. Others look for deals (such as buy one, get one free). And there are always great finds to be had at antique stores, pawn shops, etc.

Another option is to peruse cut rate catalogues and web sites like Oriental Trading. Lots of fun stuff at the fraction of the cost.

Money Fountain

Last week I heard a news report about a couple who had a "money fountain" at their reception--evidently some type of well or urn that people could toss money into. These were gifts for the bride and groom.

But someone wasn't watching, and when the couple went back to skim the proceeds out of the money fountain, there was nothing there.

Beware! Theft at weddings is more common that you might think. Don't leave gifts sitting on a table unattended. Don't leave cards strewn around on a table at the reception. Don't have people place money in a pile or receptacle. At least, not without a constant and trusted watchguard.

At weddings I've conducted, I must say I've seen the following take place during the ceremony!
Cameras stolen, purses snatched, gifts pilfered.

All a sneak thief has to do is read the newspaper announcements for upcoming weddings, lie in wait, and then walk off with a nice haul. Don't let your wedding get spoiled because of theft. Be vigilant. Watch. Have trusted friends watching out for YOU!

Craft Wedding

Some months back I attended a wedding in which the bride had prepared many of her own table decorations. These were various crafts--oragami (very beautiful), kites, scrap books, etc.

The idea wasn't just to save money (though that was nice, too), but to display the various talents and gifts the bride possessed. The crafts told a story and the scrap books, in particular, contained some history that everyone enjoyed.

Consider crafts as a possibility for decoration or the reception. You'll not only save, but you'll be sharing your life, too.

Decor and Paper Goods

Increasingly, brides are discovering that they can find many of their decor items and dollar stores and online. And for a lot less.

Consider, there are dollar stores on just about every corner now. Most of these carry a host of paper goods that can be used at the reception (napkins, etc.) and many are exactly the same brands you would find at higher end bridal shops or supply houses.

And don't forget decor. Consider looking online at OrientalTrading.com. Too many items here to mention, but there are scores of wedding items for much less than you'd pay at bridal shoppes.

Seasonal Decor

Any bride looking to save money on decor at the wedding or the reception can't go wrong with using seasonal decor. Use what's available . . . pumpkins in the fall, evergreen in the winter, red bud in the spring, garden flowers in the summer.

Why waste money bringing in orchids or roses from Mexico? If you go season, you can decorate, many times, for free!

Best money you can spend.

Transportation

There are dozens of ways to save money on limo services, and with the rising cost of gas and other transportation expenses, couples can likely find many that would work for them. Consider:

* Using an antique car (of a friend) to get you from church to reception. A convertable, maybe?
* Driving away in a delivery truck (something unique).
* Horse and carriage
* Rickshaw...if you watch Seinfeld reruns and feel comfortable having Newman and Kramer operating the transportation!!

Savings Plans

Having a tough time getting the funds you need for your wedding? Try one of these great ideas for saving a few extra bucks in your wedding fund:

1. Create a direct deposit fund from your paycheck, with a portion of your pay going into your wedding account. This will help you "pay yourself first" and make sure you have a few starter funds on hand.
2. Take a second job. Why not? If you can work a few extra hours, sock this money away for your wedding.
3. Ask for a raise. Employers who are invited to a wedding are more likely to look kindly upon your pay. . . so don't forget to give your boss a place at the reception.

Veils

The wedding veil has been a traditional part of a bride's attire for many centuries, but that's not to say that a bride has to wear one. Increasingly I note that brides are going without the veil, and there are many brides who make their own veil or borrow one from a friend.

It's a huge savings...in fact, a veil can often cost nearly as much as a gown, and the markup on veils is tremendous.

Consider making your own veil or borrowing one from a friend for some huge savings on your wedding.

To Pay or Not to Pay?

Increasingly couples are asking the question: Should they pay to have a wedding planner?

It's a valid concern...and one that has many implications. Wedding planners can certainly save couples time and energy. For busy couples who don't have the time or attention needed to work out details, the wedding planner can be a godsend. But planners also cost money, or a percentage of the total wedding costs, and so couples who have a fixed wedding budget can often find that a planner is too expensive.

However, there are alternatives.

Consider these options:

Have a family member or good friend serve as the planner and give this person the stickiest details (the ones you don't want to worry with). A trusted friend can do the work and make the wedding easier.

Or, find a wedding planner who will actually save you money by keeping you on budget. Give the wedding planner your total budget and say, "This is what we have to work with. It's our total budget. So you make the wedding happen on this amount and make the tough decisions for us."

Cookbook

Do you need some extra cash for the wedding? Need a quick way to make a few extra bucks?

How about burning your own recipes onto a dozen CDs and selling them for $10 each? That's a cool hundred in just a few minutes of work and you probably have a dozen friends who enjoy your cooking and would love to take one off your hands.

Brides looking to have a debt free wedding should also create some quick and easy ways to fund their special day.

Why the Long Tux?

Increasingly I note that wedding parties are foregoing the traditional black tux for a more "informal" look of the black suit and necktie. And why knot (not)? After all, since the average wedding now costs more than $10,000, couples can save money by not renting the tuxes and accessories.

As one groom put it recently, "What's wrong with a black suit?" Saves money, time, and a lot of heartache. I've known more than one couple who had to pay for an extra day or two or rental because they couldn't get the tuxes back within the 24-hour rental period.

Really . . . why the long tux?

Saving for the Wedding

Want three quick tips for setting aside some fast money for your wedding plans? Try these:

1. Skip the coffee and latte purchases for a year. Make your own. Savings annually: $750
2. Don't purchase a drink when you eat out (only drink water). Annual savings: $150 or more.
3. When you fix a meal at home, make a bit extra and eat these leftovers the next day. Savings annually: $2000 or more for a family of four ($1000 for a couple).

So there you have it...a quick way to save nearly $2000 a year for your wedding budget.

Win a Wedding

Have you ever considered trying to pay for you wedding by winning a freebie? Are you and your fiance the type of people who would do well in front of the camera? If so, why not apply to any number of opportunities to win a free wedding, free reception, or free honeymoon?

There are dozens of television shows, radio shows, and businesses that give weddings and trips away all the time as promotional opportunities.

Only drawback? You have to be willing, in most cases, to appear in public, allow cameras into the special day, and/or make appearances on behalf of the sponsoring organization. Otherwise, enjoy the all-expenses-paid extravaganza.

Rehearsal Dinner

Want to save som,e dough on the rehearsal dinner? How about not having a wedding rehearsal at all. Check with the officiant (pastor, priest, etc.). You may not need one.

Okay, but if you do, why not have the rehearsal earlier in the afternoon and do a lunch before? Or, how about later at night and just go out for appetizers and drinks? Or, if you really must, bring in some catered sandwiches and salads and eat at a local park if its warm. No rule that says you must spend big bucks on a rehearsal dinner.

Many people, and their waistlines, will thank you.

Sharing Wedding Costs

How's this for a most unique solution to wedding costs: a few weeks ago I read about some good friends who decided they would each share items for their respective weddings. Each Bride used various items in her wedding, and then they passed those items along to the next Bride for her wedding. Cost savings--tremendous. Creativity--astounding.

Think of it: whom do you know who would be willing to share wedding items/costs for the wedding. Prime items for consideration might be--candles (so what if they are slightly used?), music CDs, table centerpieces, and decorations.

Wow, if you put your mind to work, I'm sure you can think of numerous items that can be shared in this way...thereby lowering the total cost.

Something Borrowed

Most brides overlook the old adage for the wedding: Something borrowed...

But I wonder, what could a bride save if she considered borrowing a few items for her wedding instead of purchasing them? How about borrowing some table centerpieces? How about nail polish, etc.? How about tables and chairs for the outdoor reception instead of renting them?

There are as many ideas out there as there is creativity in the universe of weddings.

Wedding Coordinators

Do you need a wedding coordinator? This is a question that many brides ponder. But the real question is: how much is your time worth? If you have the time, a wedding coordinator is likey going to up the cost ante of your wedding by 10%-15% for the service. But if you don't have the time, a wedding coordinator can be a great help.

Be sure you ask, however, how the coordinator is going to fix his/her fees. Is is percentage of the total budget, a flat fee, or by the hour?

When it comes to planning a debt free wedding, you'll want to know the answers to these questions before you sign on the dotted line.

Bed and Breakfasts

Are you looking for a lower cost option on your honeymoon stay? Why not try a bed and breakfast? These mom and pop establishments are great, low cost options--and every room is usually individually decated and the places are usually filled with history and story. Very romantic.

Better yet, you get a nice breakfast every morning served by the most charming hosts. Who could ask for anything more?

The Limo

Want to save some money on a limo? Here's three quick tips.

1. Surely you have a friend who owns a top end BMW or a Jag. Ask for a favor. Have the friend drive you in luxury and save the money.
2. Chances are, there are many other couples getting married on the same day. Work with some friends to get a package deal with a limo service. Maybe they'll give you two for the price of one.
3. Don't think automobile. Be adventurous. How about riding to the reception in a rickshaw? Seen the Seinfeld episode?

Something Borrowed

Many couples are discovering the added value of passing along family heirloom rings and jewelry as engagement and wedding rings. In lieu of purchasing new jewelry, couples shouldn't forget that some classics don't go out of style, and a ring can always be sized to fit. Furthermore, a diamond can always be removed and reset.

There's savings in reusing. But don't think of it as recycling. Giving a family heirloom is away of passing along the heritage, the love, the joy of giving.

Invitations

Wonder what the newest fad is in low cost wedding invitations? It's sending invitations via email. Many people send e-cards for birthdays and anniversaries. Why not for weddings?

How much can you save? It all depends on how many people you want to invite.

Wedding Marketing

One of the costly developments of the past thirty years is the proliferation of the "wedding market" and the now myriad number of stores/websites/and all things wedding related that couples can visit. There are more bridal magazines than ever before, and studies show that most brides gather handfuls of these magazines as their wedding day approaches.

Couples should take care that they don't become trapped by the "wedding" frenzy. There are so many special "wedding" cakes, "wedding" books, and "wedding" supplies that often couples don't realize they are paying a premium for these specially designed wedding items.

When possible, eschew the word "wedding" when making your purchases. You'll likely save some money.

BOGO

Brides often ask: "Is there anything related to wedding planning that can get me a BOGO?"

Perhaps. Try out a few of these ideas:

If you've got a large wedding party...will the seamstress throw in a free bridesmaid dress?
Can you get one free tux with a rental of six, eight, etc.?
How about flowers?
Those little rice bags? Bubbles?
Food?
Pew decorations?
How about candles?
Shoes?
Makeup kits?
Favors?

Starve a Wedding, Feed an Account

Many of the expectations that people bring to their wedding plans have nothing to do with their own desires, but seem to be built around societal expectations. Foremost among these is the dinner reception, complete with buffet, desserts, wine, etc.

Increasingly, however, couples are forgoing fancy receptions for toned-down affairs, or just cake, or travel. Many are eschewing the reception all together for other experiences.

More importantly, couples are finding the ability to pay themselves first when they are making their wedding plans, putting in equal parts wedding costs and personal investment. It's a great choice.

Wedding Photos

The most common horror story I hear from brides goes like this: It's been a year and we still don't have our wedding photos (or they've been lost, or didn't turn out, or the photographer moved to Alaska).

As a pastor, I know that photographers (particularly wedding photographers) have had a rough time of late, with the advent of digital photography and all. But there is no doubt that wedding parties can save money with photography, or can discuss a good price, when it comes to quality photos. Sure, there are differences, a great photographer can take great pictures, and they are much sharper. But as I've talked to brides and grooms, most don't seem to want or need this type of exposure. They now want something they can have on their computer (a disk) or a few eight-by-tens that they can hang on the wall. They day of the wedding photo album is clearly on the way out.

So, bottom line. Be sure to check all your options with photography. You can save, save, save.

You Asked For It

Some time back I overheard a most telling conversation in a bridal shop. Two women were talking to each other and one asked: "So, how did you manage to find someone who would make a cake for two hundred people for that price?"

The answer: "I asked for it."

When planning any facet of your wedding, don't underestimate the power of asking for a certain price, or begin by telling your help your budget up front. If you say, "This is what I'm willing to spend. Can you do it for that?"--you'll be surprised at how often people will accomodate.

Location Savings

One of the best ways to save money on a wedding is to consider an outdoor, or alternative setting for the ceremony. If you can arrange to have the ceremony outside without much setup, the savings can be significant. Consider a beautiful natural setting--a lakeside, mountainside, poolside or wooded setting.

Over the years I've seen some fantastic outdoor weddings that were done with class and low cost, and the outcome was the same...there was a marriage!

Grooms

I've seen my fair share of weddings where the bride and her entourage are dressed to the hilt, but the groom and his guys are wearing tennis shoes. Is this the new fad in weddings? Are the men suppossed to dress down?

What do you think? What makes for a well-dressed ceremony?

Cake Anyone?

Wedding Savings

There are hundreds of ways to save money on weddings? Has anyone got a great idea they'd like to share with the masses?

Wedding Planners

Last night I noted that the movie, "The Wedding Planner" was showing on television. Does anyone use wedding planners any more?

Who are these people anyway?

Candles

I've seen some really funny weddings because of candles. I've seen candles that wouldn't light, candles that nearly explode with flame, candles that burn for a few seconds and then fizzle. I've seen brides break down and cry over candles, flush with anger when candles wouldn't light, and toss candles away in disgust.

And yes, I've seen sleeves catch on fire and, on one terrible occassion, a groomsman's hair went up in a poofball of orange flame.

Cost of wedding? $10,000.
Memories of seeing a groomsman catch on fire? Priceless!

Readings

I officiated at a wedding on Saturday. One of the readings selected by the bride was from Ecclesiastes: "A threefold cord is not easily broken."

I liked it.

Any other favorite Bible passages, readings, or poems for weddings?

Wedding Times

Over the years, I've heard so many brides, mothers, and grooms talk about wedding times, I get confused about the traditions.

Some say you should always begin a wedding at the top of the hour, so that life will be easier, as the hand is scrolling down on the clock.

Others say you should get married at half past the hour, so that the hands are moving up, signifying that life will be on the upswing as the years go by.

So my question: Who's correct?

Invitations

A rule of thumb that many brides and grooms may want to memorize. When planning the number of invitations you will be sending out to guests...you should expect about a 50% response rate. Considering that most people have busy schedules, the cost of travel, etc...many invitees won't attend. Couples that get sixty percent or more of their invited guests are doing very well.

Proposals

I continue to hear stories about unique ways to propose marriage. Anyone have an idea that's worked well for them?

White Aisle

A little known historical tidbit...did you know that the white aisle runner that is traditionally used in weddings has no symbolic significance? Aisle runners were used in churches years ago to shield a bride's dress from dirt floors. Over time, the utilitarian use of the carpet was lost and was replaced with a white runner.

In the past decade, however, the white aisle runner has begun to go out of vogue. About one half of brides no longer us them. Some even ask: "What's that white runner used for?"

The answer: "To keep your dress from getting dirty against the dirt floor" doesn't seem like a good response.

Marriage Prep #3

They say that time is the most valuable commodity we possess. The same is true in marriage. Couples will find that they will argue about time (or some nuance of it) quite often. How you spend a weekend, an evening, or deciding who's going to pick up the groceries . . . all of these have implications in time.

I have always encouraged couples to do an inventory of their expectations before getting married. This inventory should include expectations about housework (who's sweeping, who's doing dishes, who's taking out the trash, etc.), as well as being able to save time for individual pursuits. It's important to support each other in the pursuits, but also stay out of the way and allow time for individual space and hobbies.

Couples will find that, if they talk about their time before they get married, they'll have a much deeper appreciation for the time they spend together AND the time they are apart.

Marriage Prep #2

Mama told me husbands and wives would argue about sex. But it's not usually arguing...but cold silence. Getting a man and woman to sink up in their sexuality and need is a dicey proposition. Couples that are successful sexually have learned how to communicate well and also still enjoy each other over the passing of years.

Stastically--I've learned that something like half of all married couples are frustrated sexually. Frequency and willingness are two key factors in a fulfilling sex life, but it's so much more. Emotional connection, friendship, romance, and communication also play key roles as the years roll by.

Likewise, couples shouldn't give up when sex doesn't sink up easily. Managing small children can often drain couples (especially women) in the early years of marriage. But this phase passes quickly, and couples can learn how to find their pace and romance again. Having a date night regularly is a helpful, as is bits of romance here and there and quiet talks alone at night. Take the TV out of the bedroom! Oprah's right! The bedroom is for other activity if a marriage is going to stay strong.

Marriage Prep #1

There are three areas of marital life that, statistically, prove to be the most common areas of stress in a relationship. The first is money, or finances. In fact, financial stress is now the number one reason for divorce.

Before you get married, sit down together and work out a budget. Agree on a philosophy of saving, spending, and investing. Know what the other is thinking--not just verbally, but also in action. Relationships built on secret spending or clandestine vices like gambling or expensive hobbies will experience trouble. Are you together in your financial plans?

Also, be open about your debt. Many couples are now entering marriage with $30,000, $40,000, or even $100,000 worth of credit card or student loan debt. Don't sink your marriage via debt overload.

If you need, help...read. Go online and find a financial planning guide. Talk to experts. Get advice. Set a realistic budget and stick to it. If you do this, you'll be thanking each other for years to come.

Mom-zillas

In my wedding experiences, it is often the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom who can create the most consternation at a wedding. Perhaps we should have a new word "Mom-zillas" to describe this phenomenon.

How about the mother who came running into my office two minutes before her daughter was about to walk down the aisle screaming, "The aisle runner is crooked! It's two inches off center!"?
Or the groom's mother who tried to take control of the rehearsal by secretly rearranging the seating arrangements on the bride's side of the sanctuary?
Or the bride's mom who came thirty minutes late to the wedding (on purpose) so she would get more attention than her daughter?

Bridezillas

One of the more recent words associated with weddings is the "Bridezilla"--evidently a bride who is over the top demanding, mean, nasty, or subject to whims of flights and fancy that no one can work with her. Thankfully, I've experience few.

I wonder, however, if the phenomenon of the Bridezilla might be more directly associated with our societial ideas about weddings (bigger, brighter, more expensive). When competition, show, or culteral expectations enter into the picture, most people will snap under the pressure.

Brides who learn how to take control of their weddings (demanding of themselves and others a debt-free outcome, simplicity, and control) rarely turn into Bridezillas. They already know who they are and what they want out of their marriage...nothing flashy or extravagant, just a great beginning to a lifetime of love.

Conversation or Movie?

A few years ago I recall a couple telling me that the biggest mistake they had made in their dating relationship was going to movies together. I wondered why. "Because," the said, "when you're watching a movie, you aren't talking to each other."

There's something to be said for learning good communications skills during the engagement period. Learning how to discuss ideas, learning how to be open and honest, and also learning how to argue fairly are all imporant skills. Dating in noisy places, in venues that don't foster active and constructive communication is often a detriment to a relationship rather than a help.

My wife and I still go to dinner together and find these times meaningful and significant. It's just talk. But we still learn much about each other.